Chaos and Laundry Everywhere

Got an email from the teacher, "During literacy stations this morning, the students were working on word work and Kid asked a peer to help him spell the “f word.” Other students overheard this and shared with Mrs. N what had happened; Kid explained that it’s a word he knows and he didn’t know it was inappropriate." Tried to have a conversation with C about it and as usual it turned in to a fight. He is the one who says fuck in front of kid all the damned time. Of course he denied it, says I was accusing him and that I swear in front of him, too. Sure. I'm the one who said fuck 3x on Sunday while watching the football game with the kid in the next room. Yep, it's all me. Told him that if shit doesn't change by the time Kid finished 4th grade, I'm leaving and if he tries to stop me like he did before, I will. be. calling. the. cops. He tells me that if I want to leave, then to leave now. Yeah, like I can do that. I'm not pulling kid from school in the middle...

I'm going to start an experiment. C has a pile of clean clothes on the floor that he never bothers to put away, and picks his daily "outfit" from said pile. He also has a dresser FULL of clothes. I'm going to start taking one shirt out of his dresser and toss it in the 'donate' pile, and putting a shirt from the floor in its place. Let's see how long it takes him to notice. Maybe I'll even take pictures.

Kid has a PD day, so C decides his stomach hurt and he's going to call in sick. Ok whatever. I ask if he can bring the clean laundry upstairs, maybe do a couple of chores around this pit of a hellhole. I get home, kid has been playing video games all day, and C "has been in the bathroom every few hours so he didn't have a chance to do anything." I'm not even surprised.

I want to be back in Canada where I know I will always have someone to watch my son anytime. I have friends close by who actually care about me and want me to visit and will make plans to get together without it becoming a giant hassle or argument. A safe place to send my son to school where he doesn't have to worry about lockdown drills on a monthly basis, and where I know people who will help me have his needs met. Where I don't have to pay $150 to see a doctor and then receive threats about being sent to collections if I don't pay it. Blargh. Oh and the proverbial nail in the coffin? I came home to a birthday card from my in laws ..... with a $10 gas card in it. If that's not a slap in the face ... I'd rather they had forgotten my birthday, tbh.

It gets better .... so I decide that I need some time alone to breathe, so I go to my bedroom and I locked the door. C freaks out because "he's worried" and actually takes the doorknob off the door to "make sure I'm ok". And then proceeds to follow me down the street in the car after I walked out because he took the keys to both vehicles so that I can't go anywhere. I think that's considered abuse but I could be wrong. BUT I'M NOT. Best part? My mom thinks this is ok because he was just worried about me. I have to laugh because I was worried about my dad? Jeebus fucking christ.

So apparently because I was two hours late getting back to the house for dinner due to a miscommunication with the swim teacher, after having a shit day and actually wanting to talk about it, I made my mother feel taken for granted, then she cried and it's all my fault and I should take responsibility for it. Ok sure.

So due to an altercation earlier this afternoon, drunken neighbour decides to shoot off some fireworks right in front of my fucking house AT MIDNIGHT. What's even worse, I go to call the cops and C tells me not to because "it isn't hurting anyone" OH MY FUCKING GOD. Rage level is through the roof and I need to punch something. Hard.